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B A L L I S T I Q U E / T W O B R I T S
F O R
C R U E L I Z A T I O N F O U R
A very strange tune. Written in about an hour and half after a very long
session with Mr Beer. I'm a little confused about where this came from as
I don`t actually remember tracking some parts and as for the pattern
lengths, nuf said. But thats what drink and drugs do for you.
Hey kids stay off drugs, they have bad side effects, they wear off ;-)
Greetz go out to - Argh - Lemm - Scrm - Yannis - Tito - MR_ - Smeg - Axl
and of course Cruel Creator
btw i'm not arghs imaginary friend, I do actually exist.
E-mail me at jonl@tcp.co.uk marked att. Ballistique.
More ->
D R I N K E R S
F A U L T - F I N D I N G
G U I D E
SYMPTOM * FAULT * ACTION
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* *
Drinking fails to * Mouth not open * Buy another pint and
give satisfaction * while drinking * practise in front of
and taste; shirt * or * mirror. Continue with
front wet. * Glass being applied * as many pints as necessary
* to wrong part of face * until drinking technique is
* * perfect.
* *
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* *
Drinking fails to * Glass Empty * Find someone who will buy
give satisfaction * * you another pint.
and taste; beer * *
unusually pale * *
and clear. * *
* *
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* *
Feet cold and wet. * Glass being held at * Turn glass the other way up
* incorrect angle. * so that the open end is
* * pointing at the ceiling.
* *
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* *
Feet warm and wet. * Loss of self control. * Go and stand next to the
* * nearest dog - after a while
* * complain to its owner about
* * its lack of house training
* * and demand a pint in
* * compensation.
* *
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* *
Bar Blurred. * You are looking * Find someone who will buy
* through the bottom * you another pint.
* of your empty glass. *
* *
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* *
Bar Swinging. * Air turbulence * Insert a broom handle down
* unusually high-maybe * back of jacket.
* due to the darts *
* match in progress. *
* *
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* *
Bar moving. * You are being carried * Find out if you are being
* out. * taken to another pub-if not
* * complain loudly that you
* * are being hi-jacked.
* *
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* *
You notice that * You have fallen over * If glass is still full.
the wall opposite * backwards. * stay put. If not. get
is covered with * * someone to help you up and
ceiling tiles, and * * lash yourself to the bar.
has a fluorescent * *
light strip across * *
it. * *
* *
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* *
Everything has * You have fallen over * As above.
gone dim and you * forwards. *
have a mouth full * *
of dog-ends. * *
* *
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* *
Everything has * The pub is closing. * Panic
gone dark. * *
* *
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* *
You have woken up * You have spent the * Check your watch to see if
to find your bed * night in the gutter. * it is opening time - if not
cold, hard and wet.* * treat yourself to a lie-in.
you cannot see * *
your bedroom walls * *
or ceiling. * *
* *
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I am getting very sad !
